About the movement
Every life deserves to be remembered.
How They Lived exists to preserve the stories, lessons, laughter, and love that continue long after someone is gone.
Why this movement exists
A better question began with one life.
Heidi Dunstan
Certified Grief Educator · International speaker · Widow
After losing her husband Mike unexpectedly in 2018, Heidi experienced something she never expected. People wanted to help. But they didn’t know what to say. Many avoided the conversation completely. Others unintentionally focused on how Mike died instead of how he lived.
People don’t need perfect words. They need someone willing to listen.
Over the last several years she has dedicated her work to helping people feel confident enough to lean into difficult conversations so that memories become stories, stories become legacy, and legacy continues through the people who carry it forward.
Our belief
Grief is love. Stories preserve people.
Every life leaves something behind. Not everyone leaves wealth. Not everyone leaves fame. Everyone leaves impact. When we share those stories, we allow that impact to continue.
Love remembers.
Stories keep people close.
Impact continues.
The Legacy Lens
Loss changes what we notice.
Losing someone changes how we see the world. We become more intentional. Time becomes more precious. We notice kindness. We appreciate ordinary moments. We understand that what people leave behind isn’t only what they owned — it is how they loved, laughed, encouraged, forgave, created, and changed us. The Legacy Lens reminds us to live intentionally and to recognize that our own legacy is being written every day.
Carry the Torch
A torch is influence carried forward.
The torch is not about remembering someone once. It represents carrying their influence forward. When someone’s kindness inspires you to be kinder, you carry their torch. When someone’s courage gives you courage, you carry their torch. When you tell their story, you pass their torch. Every story shared keeps someone’s light burning a little longer.
A life’s light, carried from one heart to another.
What happens when you carry a torch?
Small acts keep a life in motion.
A story is remembered.
A lesson lives on.
A family feels seen.
A legacy continues.
Become a Torchbearer
Carry someone’s story forward.
A Torchbearer believes every life deserves to be remembered. Torchbearers preserve stories, ask better questions, listen without trying to fix, share lessons that deserve to live on, and carry someone’s light into the future. This is not a membership. It is a movement.
Join the founding Torchbearers and help create a world where we stop asking only how people died… and begin asking how they lived.
Become a Torchbearer